I would like to know what deity I angered by making it to 2015. How did I tempt fate? What challenge did I unknowingly issue to the powers that be? Was I getting too confident? Did the burst of pride I got from completing Badger on Christmas Eve just make the energy of the world wrong? 2015 has been...well. I'm trying not to use defeatist self talk, I'm trying to stay positive and always look forward. But if I were honest, 2015 has been a challenge and I'm a little intimidated by the idea of finishing out the year.
January: I got the flu. I caught the honest to goodness influenza virus on vacation over New Years, and when I got back from that vacation I was down for the count. Unfortunately I realized what I had only after I gave it to my husband and HE was diagnosed with it, so I couldn't take any of the take-within-the-first-72-hours medication and had to ride it out. Thank goodness I was reasonably healthy, but I was still knocked down for the month. I didn't feel like I was anywhere near my usual self until February.
February: Trying to maintain a work schedule, a workout schedule, work toward goals, and do everything on a depleted immune system, I caught another cold mid-month. Thankfully it was just a garden-variety cold (and trust me, there is a VAST difference between a bad cold and the flu) and I got better faster. But given that I was only running at about 75% strength anyway, it was a hit.
March: Struggling with my rapidly depleting health, in desperation I Went outside of my health insurance coverage to a naturopath. Essentially I felt like we weren't treating the problem, we were only addressing symptoms. Headaches, fatigue, weight gain, and various other systemic issues were getting so bad that my performance at work was suffering and I was beginning to feel really threatened. With a series of blood tests, I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and started on thyroid. I was also given progesterone, both because I was showing signs of being perimenopausal (common with thyroid disorders) and because of a strong family history of female cancers.
April: Breathing/asthma was bad, and I went to Urgent Care for a breathing treatment. This is something I have had to do with increasing regularity, and the doctor on call that day wanted an X-ray of my lungs to make sure I didn't have any residual pneumonia from being sick at the beginning of the year. That X-ray revealed that I had an "anomalous flap of tissue" on the right atrium of my heart. I am instructed not to work out hard enough to push either my breathing or my heartrate, until we can get an EKG and check things out. Greeeeeaaaaattt.
May: I'm twiddling my thumbs. I go to the box but I can't push. It's really hard to go to a Crossfit box and not get your heartrate up! It's difficult to not challenge breathing that is already challenged. Around the middle of the month I had the EKG, and then a week later I got the response that all was clear and I could work out to my heart's desire again. Brilliant!
June: In the first week I got to the box three times. I stumbled upon my motivating word, my focus, my motto. My word is FIERI (yes, like the actor). It's the latin word for DONE, as in finished, completed, achieved. I sketched it out as if it were a template for a tattoo, combining my long-standing love for the transformational power of the butterfly symbol and this powerful word. I was imagining it on my skin as an emblem of achieving goals and using it to focus my energy.
Then we went to England, yay! In the first few days I walked quite a bit, as you do in any European city. The first day there, struggling with jet lag, I covered 15,000 steps. Then the second day my count was around 12,000. Then the third day...
I BROKE MY ARM.
Yes. I broke my arm. I have a non-displaced (not separated) radial head fracture. Basically I cracked it. It's painful but getting better, still restricted range of motion (obviously). I'm off work for 6 weeks, until the very end of July, to allow it to heal. Until that time I'm restricted to no weight bearing, no pushing, no pulling, and no lifting greater than 2.5 pounds. It's my right arm and I'm right hand dominant, so it's difficult to not use it, especially given that my left arm is so damaged and restricted in the first place. I can't drive because I can't shift. With Nick in Irvine and everyone working, I'm basically sitting at home and talking to the cats.
I'm trying really hard to be positive. I'm trying to use this as motivation. I'm trying to set goals and amp up my determination. I get knocked down but I get up again, dammit. Ain't never gonna keep me down. I just have to figure out how to get up again. I'm getting really tired of having to get up in the first place. Haven't I gotten up enough??
