"Today is the first day of the rest of your life." --Charles Dederich

Raised in a military family, I am never late. "If you are on time, you are already late" is a saying that I live by. Sometimes I am very early and have time to kill. This is made more pronounced when I'm excited, and I was definitely that.

I showed up at 8:15 for the 9:00 class. I told more about myself to Stephan, the coach. We brainstormed on ways to work around my injuries. The car accident I was in severely traumatized my left arm, and there are certain things I just cannot do. In the 17 years since that accident I've had a lot of experience working with my limitations. Stephan gave me paperwork to fill out and I dutifully answered questions outlining my health--aside from my arm and my weight, I'm rudely healthy. The last question stopped me.

"Is there anything else you would like us to know about you?"

I looked out the window. I looked into the room. I felt a rush of eagerness, poised my pen, and wrote.  I read my answer and added a caret. Satisfied, I set the clipboard down.  Other people were arriving.

"I don't have the body that I want (yet), but I'm all in."

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Stephan introduced me around. I shook hands with a few people, smiled and waved to a couple more. A couple set up a portable playpen and deposited a cherubic, curly-haired little girl with a huge smile, and I noticed that everyone in the box went out of their way to greet this happy little thing. Stephan listed names on the whiteboard below the WOD. He turned to me. "Erin with an E?" I nodded. He turned and told us what equipment to grab and set up, then told us all to "run for the fence".

The box is in the front corner of an industrial building, as most boxes are. Next to the building is a parking strip surrounded by a fence that butts up on a freeway offramp. Another class member told me it was about 240 meters to the fence and back. Game enough, I jogged out the door and across the parking lot with her. "I was told that if you don't touch the fence it doesn't count," she said, so I lightly tapped it as I swung around. The trip back is a slight incline. Midpack, I wasn't going to wimp out on the first exercise. We gathered at the gate by the door.

"Side lunge to the van and back," Stephan said. "Lunge and turn, lunge and turn." We started out. Because I am a physical therapist assistant I know what exercises are. Because I have exercised for so long I have a general body awareness. Because I am out of shape right now, I struggle with moving my body. Stephan coached, "Keep your chests upright when you lunge. Not this," he demonstrated, "but this." I straightened my torso. He nodded. I appreciated not being called out as the only new member of the group, but still being helped and corrected. This was promising!

"Now forward lunge. Arms up, hands behind your heads!" We set out for the van again, then turned and went into the box. I found my bar--empty--and waited while Stephan set the clock. "You have 20 minutes. Do these exercises: 5 rows! 10 pushups! 15 squats! 400 meter run! As many rounds as possible. And...GO!"

I flattened my back, bent to my bar, positioned it at my shins and rowed 5 times, then set the bar down and dropped to my knees. My left wrist doesn't extend as much as it should, and my left elbow has about 80 degrees of motion. I can't straighten my arm fully, nor can I bend it much past halfway. I did what I could, 10 pushups my way. I jumped up and started squatting. Stephan came to stand in front of me and spoke quietly and encouragingly. "Chest up," he said, and I straightened. "Drop into it. Make it more about your butt." He held his hands up in front of me and I put mine up in front of his. I kept squatting. "Good, We'll worry about depth later," he said. I barked a laugh and said, "that's what she said." He laughed and I said, "... and I just lost count." He laughed again.

Right now, a 400 meter run up the short hill outside isn't reasonable. Stephan agreed that I could do the 240 meter fence run instead, so I headed out the door again. Free of other class members, I hitched up to a run. My feet skittered at the fence as I tried to turn and touch the fence at the same time, and I headed back up the small rise. Done! I came in the side door and headed back to my bar for round 2. I noticed the clock said 2:43, and people around me were either not back yet--having gone out for the 400 meter run--or were barely starting their second set of rows. Was that right? How did I do that? Huh. I started again.

5 rows. Bang. 10  knee pushups. Bang. 15 squats, chest upright. Bang. I headed out the door and changed my mind.

Stephan mentioned that 500 meters on the rower was also an option, so I sat down to try that. Truth be told running is hard for me, and I was already feeling intimidated by the idea of running for the fence again. I strapped my feet in and picked up the bar. Push and pull, push and pull. Stephan stepped out. "A longer, sharp pull will get you further faster," he encouraged me. "Snap it back. All the way forward then snap back." The rower next to me was pulling all the way to her throat, but my elbow just won't do that. I pulled to my chest and made sure to come all the way forward. 500 meters down.

The clock was on 9:43 when I stepped back inside. I decided that rowing definitely was not my sport and went back to my bar. 5 rows. 10 knee pushups. Stephan moved me to a pole. "Hold on here--feet closer...there...upright. Sink into it. Chest up...slide down. There," he moved away and I continued. My thighs were definitely burning and I knew the fence run was coming fast. I finished my 15 and went out the door with protesting thighs. Running was not going to happen. Knees up! I told myself. Just a jog! Knees up! There was nothing left. I could jog 3 steps and then my legs would refuse to lift. Okay. I jogged 3, walked 4. Jogged 3, walked 4. Tagged the fence. Were there cars on the freeway on the other side of the fence? I have absolutely no idea. Turned around. Walked as fast as I could back to the door. Stephan high-fived me and said, "You're doing great!" as I headed for my bar again. At this point I barely noticed if people were in the room. Behind me Stephan yelled, "You have FIVE MINUTES on the clock!" He appeared in front of me again. "Remember to breathe," he reminded me. "I say that to all my patients," I laughed. He nodded, and I bent for my bar.

5 rows. Bang. 10 knee pushups. It was really hard to get on the floor, and my arms were noticing but not failing. Up for my pole-squats. I struggled to get one foot under me, put both hands on my knee and pushed myself upright. I turned around and wobbled on suddenly unsteady legs to my pole. I carefully positioned myself and started my set.

"5...4...3...2...1! TIME!" Stephan yelled. I stopped squatting, thankful there was no more running ahead of me. I did the math in my head. When you're doing an AMRAP (As Many Rounds As Possible) workout, you count completed rounds and then add up the total repetitions you've completed on the last round when time is called. 5 rows + 10  knee pushups + 9 squats put me at 3 + 24. I reported it when Stephan recorded all of our scores on the whiteboard under the workout.

I seriously contemplated just falling down to get to the floor for the cool down stretch. I helped myself up afterward and gleefully noted that I was going to be sore--I was already sore. Breathing slowed my heartrate. I am very pale and turn pink with even slight exertion. My face was--probably alarmingly, for anyone who doesn't know me--bright pink and glowing hot. My hands shook. My legs wobbled. I was so sweaty that even the backs of my hands were wet.

I felt awesome. I felt like I had come home. I felt like singing.

I have found my place. This is what my body will do. For this, my body will change. This is what I have been searching for, through the endless hours on ellipticals and in yoga class and Spin class and Pilates, through the self-taught and directed lifting programs, through the long line of gyms and the long years of knowing that I was still looking for something that I couldn't find. This is it. I have been looking for Crossfit, and I have found it.