When I first started forming strength goals, Tiffany told me about the 200 Club, an unofficial "club" of those who reach a 200 pound deadlift. The idea appealed to me, and I set a 6 month goal. By 2/23/15, I was going to deadlift 200 pounds.
My PR on 11/25 was 185 for 3 reps. I was so close, but we'd been spending time on snatch and ignoring deadlift. I was still intent on going to the box, and I pulled up at 5:10am.
Mick arrived shortly and let us in. SWOD: deadlift 5/4/4/3/2, he wrote on the board. Oh yeah, I told myself. Hitting 200 today! I scurried around to build a bar.
"Starting heavy!" Mick commented on my bar. I bent and lifted for 5 reps, then dropped the 135# bar. "Nah, this is light," I said.
I added plates and repped. Added plates and repped. 155#. 175#. 195#. "Wanna add 5 pounds?" I said out loud, channeling my inner Cassie. I chuckled and added 5 pounds. The vaunted 200 pound bar rested at my feet.
I thought of Tiffany and all of her sports psych coaching. Chalking my hands, I clapped twice and shook them off. Turning back to the bar, I told myself, "You've got this! You are strong! This will be great! You've got this!" I imagined myself, hands wrapped securely around the bar, driving my heels in to the ground and standing up with perfect form. Easy peasy.
I wrapped my hands around the bar, thumbs behind and fingers in front. I straightened my knees and pushed my butt back until I felt tension in my hamstrings. I rocked my heels back and felt contact with the floor through my barefoot shoes. I tightened my back and felt my shoulderblades pinch and slide down my back. I looked up, noticed Mick watching me, and tensed. Like a smooth hydraulic lift, I gripped the bar and lifted it with me as I stood.
"Yeah Erin!" Mick yelled and turned to write it on the PR board.
I'm a member of the 200 Pound Club.
Friday, December 26, 2014
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Achieving goals
I jogged into the box at 5:31am. Because I arrived early I had headed out to do a mile run warmup, and I was just getting back. Other boxmates streamed around me as I came in the door. I asked what we were doing, and Monica said, "You don't want to know," as she ran out the door. Uh oh.
Stef was standing in front of the board. I read over his shoulder:
BADGER (40 min cap)
3 rounds for time:
30 squat cleans
30 pullups
800 meter run
Ummm...yikes. Stef and I quickly conferred and decided that I could sub ring rows for pullups. I was intimidated as hell, but I was game to try. Okay. There were only five of us in the class, since it was Christmas Eve. Okay. I could just hack away at it. I'm only competing with myself.
I'm still working on form for squat cleans, and I slowed down considerably with my first 30. While I was working on ring rows Stef offered the option of only doing 400s for the 800s, and I gladly accepted. Gamely I headed out the door into the predawn.
Coming back in from my first 400, my legs were rubbery but I was still in the game. I Approached my bar.
"Break it up!" Stef called to the room. "Sets of 5, sets of 10. Whatever it takes!"
I worked through 8 and paused at the top. Two more is just two, then you can drop, I told myself. I set my feet and squatted to grab the bar. Up. Fast elbows. Squat. Up. I paused. One more... I coached myself through one more and dropped the bar. Wandering the room, I admired everyone else who was just as intent on their game. Phiew. Back to my bar, I broke it up to sets of 5 and got it done.
Ring rows and out the door. It was still cool, and still dark. "Way to go Monica!" I yelled at the tiny figure approaching me. I walked to the top of the hill and jogged. Jog to the street, walk the street, jog to the fire hydrant, I bargained with myself. My legs felt miserable but I kept going.
Back in the box for the last round, I broke up the cleans into sets of five but still my form was failing. I panted and walked it off, tried again. The sets seemed to drag on impossibly, but I finally got them done. I settled in for ring rows and glanced at the clock. 37:36. Crap, I thought.
"Hey Stef!" I yelled. "I'm gonna finish, just watch the clock for me, okay?" I finished my 30 and was out the door.
Goaded on by the idea that Stef was watching his clock to add time onto my 40 minutes, I jogged to the top of the hill. My legs wobbled and my feet seemed to land at odd angles. I focused on my breathing and dropped to a walk. Walking was a struggle, too. My left leg seemed to lag behind my body and I dragged it with me. I was the last one out there of the 5 of us, but I was going to finish.
Turning at the fire hydrant, I faced up the hill. Damn, I thought, and consciously changed my thinking. You're so close! You're almost done! I repeated to myself as I dragged up the hill. I walked to the top of the hill outside the door, then willed my legs to lift and shuffled to the box.
"41:25!" Stef yelled. "Way to go Erin!" He wrote my time on the board, along with a special note that read, 1 mile warm up run, WAY TO GO ERIN! I collapsed on the floor and glowed. I finished. As I panted I also realized I'd finished a WOD with 400s. Another goal met!
"You know, four months ago you couldn't have done that," Stef looked at me.
"I could barely do it now!" I chuckled, still panting.
"But four months ago, you'd have tapped out in the first round," Stef persisted. "Getting better every day, girl."
Stef was standing in front of the board. I read over his shoulder:
BADGER (40 min cap)
3 rounds for time:
30 squat cleans
30 pullups
800 meter run
Ummm...yikes. Stef and I quickly conferred and decided that I could sub ring rows for pullups. I was intimidated as hell, but I was game to try. Okay. There were only five of us in the class, since it was Christmas Eve. Okay. I could just hack away at it. I'm only competing with myself.
I'm still working on form for squat cleans, and I slowed down considerably with my first 30. While I was working on ring rows Stef offered the option of only doing 400s for the 800s, and I gladly accepted. Gamely I headed out the door into the predawn.
Coming back in from my first 400, my legs were rubbery but I was still in the game. I Approached my bar.
"Break it up!" Stef called to the room. "Sets of 5, sets of 10. Whatever it takes!"
I worked through 8 and paused at the top. Two more is just two, then you can drop, I told myself. I set my feet and squatted to grab the bar. Up. Fast elbows. Squat. Up. I paused. One more... I coached myself through one more and dropped the bar. Wandering the room, I admired everyone else who was just as intent on their game. Phiew. Back to my bar, I broke it up to sets of 5 and got it done.
Ring rows and out the door. It was still cool, and still dark. "Way to go Monica!" I yelled at the tiny figure approaching me. I walked to the top of the hill and jogged. Jog to the street, walk the street, jog to the fire hydrant, I bargained with myself. My legs felt miserable but I kept going.
Back in the box for the last round, I broke up the cleans into sets of five but still my form was failing. I panted and walked it off, tried again. The sets seemed to drag on impossibly, but I finally got them done. I settled in for ring rows and glanced at the clock. 37:36. Crap, I thought.
"Hey Stef!" I yelled. "I'm gonna finish, just watch the clock for me, okay?" I finished my 30 and was out the door.
Goaded on by the idea that Stef was watching his clock to add time onto my 40 minutes, I jogged to the top of the hill. My legs wobbled and my feet seemed to land at odd angles. I focused on my breathing and dropped to a walk. Walking was a struggle, too. My left leg seemed to lag behind my body and I dragged it with me. I was the last one out there of the 5 of us, but I was going to finish.
Turning at the fire hydrant, I faced up the hill. Damn, I thought, and consciously changed my thinking. You're so close! You're almost done! I repeated to myself as I dragged up the hill. I walked to the top of the hill outside the door, then willed my legs to lift and shuffled to the box.
"41:25!" Stef yelled. "Way to go Erin!" He wrote my time on the board, along with a special note that read, 1 mile warm up run, WAY TO GO ERIN! I collapsed on the floor and glowed. I finished. As I panted I also realized I'd finished a WOD with 400s. Another goal met!
"You know, four months ago you couldn't have done that," Stef looked at me.
"I could barely do it now!" I chuckled, still panting.
"But four months ago, you'd have tapped out in the first round," Stef persisted. "Getting better every day, girl."
Monday, December 22, 2014
Taking steps forward!
This morning I got an automated phone call. The mechanical voice told me that there was a space available for me in Nutrition 150, a class I wait-listed two weeks ago. Jubilant, I logged on and added the class. I'm taking Nutrition 150 in the spring!
Why am I taking this class? I graduated from San Diego State University in 2003 with a degree in Kinesiology, emphasis pre Physical Therapy. Then I got an AS from Mesa College in Physical Therapy Assisting, and I've been doing that for more than 7 years. But SDSU offers a dual Masters degree in Exercise Physiology and Nutrition Sciences, and that's what I want to do now. And Nutrition is a prerequisite.
And why do I want to do this? Why, indeed. Everything I'm reading and everything I'm experiencing leads me to think that there is a link, and a unity, between variable high-intensity exercise (Crossfit style) and a whole, natural food diet. I want to know what that link is. I want to quantify what happens in the body. I want to explore the changes in metabolic pathway utilization with those two variables intact. And I want to write a book, and sell it, and help people like me. Some people have what I have always thought of as "workhorse bodies": we are stocky and strong and function well on meat-and-veg. Our bodies, you could argue, have evolved less than others and we still need basic, essential activity and nutrition. I want to explore that. I want to understand that. I want to know WHY, so that I can teach other people HOW.
Why am I taking this class? I graduated from San Diego State University in 2003 with a degree in Kinesiology, emphasis pre Physical Therapy. Then I got an AS from Mesa College in Physical Therapy Assisting, and I've been doing that for more than 7 years. But SDSU offers a dual Masters degree in Exercise Physiology and Nutrition Sciences, and that's what I want to do now. And Nutrition is a prerequisite.
And why do I want to do this? Why, indeed. Everything I'm reading and everything I'm experiencing leads me to think that there is a link, and a unity, between variable high-intensity exercise (Crossfit style) and a whole, natural food diet. I want to know what that link is. I want to quantify what happens in the body. I want to explore the changes in metabolic pathway utilization with those two variables intact. And I want to write a book, and sell it, and help people like me. Some people have what I have always thought of as "workhorse bodies": we are stocky and strong and function well on meat-and-veg. Our bodies, you could argue, have evolved less than others and we still need basic, essential activity and nutrition. I want to explore that. I want to understand that. I want to know WHY, so that I can teach other people HOW.
Thursday, December 18, 2014
As for eating goals...
I swear, I jinx myself by saying things are going well.
I in no way take my patients' generosity for granted. It's lovely of them to offer us things, and I really do appreciate the consideration and the thought. The unfortunate thing is that their generosity veers in the direction of food "treats". And you can rest assured that, as with most people, "treats" doesn't mean fruits and veggies.
This morning a patient arrived with chocolate cupcakes iced with vanilla frosting and topped with sugar snowflakes. She baked them for us! I thanked her very nicely and put them in the office.
Then my student's clinic coordinator arrived for a midterm check, and brought us a pound of Belgian chocolates and a pound of peppermint bark. I thanked her and put them behind me while we discussed my student, out of my line of sight in the office.
Then a patient arrived with 4 gourmet chocolate-caramel-nut covered apples from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. I thanked her and put them in the office.
Then a patient brought us "candy canes" filled with Hershey's Kisses and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I opened those and poured them into a small bucket by the sign-in sheet, so people can help themselves.
Then my husband texted me a picture from his business trip to Portland. He explained that he was going to check his carry-on because he had acquired a new carry on: a huge pink box from Voodoo Doughnuts.
The cupcake I gave away. The chocolate I gave away. The apple I'm saving to see if my husband wants it. The doughnuts...I honestly don't know. A bite of each? Pick one and enjoy it and get right back on track? Ignore them and throw my husband's gift right back in his face? The chocolates and the apple were easy--I looked at them and thought, "If I wanted to I could go straight to the store and buy this for myself at any time." Decision made. The doughnuts...yes, I can get doughnuts any time. No, I can't get Voodoo Doughnuts, and I'm not likely to be in Portland--I'm in San Diego, at the very bottom of California--anytime soon. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. So maybe...a bite of each doughnut I can't get around here? Ugh, I swear!
At any rate, whatever I decide, I know the next step: right back on track. I already have the meals cooked.
I in no way take my patients' generosity for granted. It's lovely of them to offer us things, and I really do appreciate the consideration and the thought. The unfortunate thing is that their generosity veers in the direction of food "treats". And you can rest assured that, as with most people, "treats" doesn't mean fruits and veggies.
This morning a patient arrived with chocolate cupcakes iced with vanilla frosting and topped with sugar snowflakes. She baked them for us! I thanked her very nicely and put them in the office.
Then my student's clinic coordinator arrived for a midterm check, and brought us a pound of Belgian chocolates and a pound of peppermint bark. I thanked her and put them behind me while we discussed my student, out of my line of sight in the office.
Then a patient arrived with 4 gourmet chocolate-caramel-nut covered apples from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. I thanked her and put them in the office.
Then a patient brought us "candy canes" filled with Hershey's Kisses and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I opened those and poured them into a small bucket by the sign-in sheet, so people can help themselves.
Then my husband texted me a picture from his business trip to Portland. He explained that he was going to check his carry-on because he had acquired a new carry on: a huge pink box from Voodoo Doughnuts.
The cupcake I gave away. The chocolate I gave away. The apple I'm saving to see if my husband wants it. The doughnuts...I honestly don't know. A bite of each? Pick one and enjoy it and get right back on track? Ignore them and throw my husband's gift right back in his face? The chocolates and the apple were easy--I looked at them and thought, "If I wanted to I could go straight to the store and buy this for myself at any time." Decision made. The doughnuts...yes, I can get doughnuts any time. No, I can't get Voodoo Doughnuts, and I'm not likely to be in Portland--I'm in San Diego, at the very bottom of California--anytime soon. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. So maybe...a bite of each doughnut I can't get around here? Ugh, I swear!
At any rate, whatever I decide, I know the next step: right back on track. I already have the meals cooked.
Set some goals!
I don't like resolutions. There's this culture of "start on January 1st, give up in three weeks, and hate yourself all year because you're not doing what you said you were going to do" that I can't get behind. I can't support the idea of expecting myself to fail. Nor can I support hating myself for doing what I expected myself to do. It's all a set up, and I just don't do it.
With that said, I do generally have an idea what I want to accomplish in the coming year. Of course, "the coming year" is from whenever I say it is, not from January 1. Right now I have a series of 10 goals for Crossfit. I've achieved 4 of them, and I'm definitely making headway toward the others.
One of my first goals was to run the 400 meter. That's it. No walking! Running has always been a trial for me, always something my body just didn't want to do. Even Mick, my box owner, admits, "you're just built for strength. You're not built for speed." Which is why I can deadlift 185# after only 4 months at the box, and I still struggle with that damned 400. Most of the time (not consistently yet) I can run the 400 one time. Most of the time.
So the 400 meter has become a series of goals:
*Run the 400 without walking 10/21/14!
*Run the 400 in less than 4:30
*Run the 400 in less than 4 minutes
*Run the 400 as part of a WOD
*Run the 400 in less than 3:30
*Run the 400 in less than 3 minutes
*Run the 400 in less than 2:30
My deadlift is at 185# as a 1RM, and I set a goal for 6 months:
*Deadlift 200# by 2/23/15
There are also goals that pertain to overhead/push press (103# by 2/13/15) and pullups (1 strict pullup by 8/23/15).
One goal that I have put on my list is a Level 1 Crossfit cert after 8/23/15. I want to give myself a year in the box, then I want to pursue a cert. My dream is to specialize, kind of design my own focus, if you will, on working with the obese and the injured. But, just like running, I've got to start with the basics. Level 1 cert is first.
I love having goals. I love having little goals, so I can achieve things regularly. If they get me to my ultimate goal, who cares how little they are or how often I congratulate myself on making progress? The more the merrier, I say.
With that said, I do generally have an idea what I want to accomplish in the coming year. Of course, "the coming year" is from whenever I say it is, not from January 1. Right now I have a series of 10 goals for Crossfit. I've achieved 4 of them, and I'm definitely making headway toward the others.
One of my first goals was to run the 400 meter. That's it. No walking! Running has always been a trial for me, always something my body just didn't want to do. Even Mick, my box owner, admits, "you're just built for strength. You're not built for speed." Which is why I can deadlift 185# after only 4 months at the box, and I still struggle with that damned 400. Most of the time (not consistently yet) I can run the 400 one time. Most of the time.
So the 400 meter has become a series of goals:
*Run the 400 in less than 4:30
*Run the 400 in less than 4 minutes
*Run the 400 as part of a WOD
*Run the 400 in less than 3:30
*Run the 400 in less than 3 minutes
*Run the 400 in less than 2:30
My deadlift is at 185# as a 1RM, and I set a goal for 6 months:
*Deadlift 200# by 2/23/15
There are also goals that pertain to overhead/push press (103# by 2/13/15) and pullups (1 strict pullup by 8/23/15).
One goal that I have put on my list is a Level 1 Crossfit cert after 8/23/15. I want to give myself a year in the box, then I want to pursue a cert. My dream is to specialize, kind of design my own focus, if you will, on working with the obese and the injured. But, just like running, I've got to start with the basics. Level 1 cert is first.
I love having goals. I love having little goals, so I can achieve things regularly. If they get me to my ultimate goal, who cares how little they are or how often I congratulate myself on making progress? The more the merrier, I say.
Monday, December 15, 2014
Change is where it's at, baby
"Are you worried you won’t successfully finish the program, and it’s easier to self-sabotage than fail?"
Today is day 63--the last day of my 9th week. I wrote about struggling emotionally a week or so ago, but for the largest part it's been smooth sailing. I haven't really been having "cravings" per se. There's been no distinct point where my body/mind told me that if I had X food, then I would be better, IhavetohavethisfoodNOWdammit. What I have experienced is a consciousness that I was in a situation where, in the past, I would turn to food as a solution. And I've certainly had moments of thinking, "oh, these donuts smell good," or "the caffeine kick from a mocha would wake me up this morning," but there has been no desire to indulge myself. On the tail end of those thoughts has consistently been either an idle shrug because I really don't care, or a momentary pause and the thought, "but I want something else." And since I know very very well what that something else is, the 'craving' dissipates without ever gaining a foothold.
So what do I want?
I want to feel confident, sexy, and desirable. (Yeah, yeah, I know "it's all in your mind", "it's all in your attitude", whatever. This is my list.)
I want to not be scared, when I board a plane, that I will have to ask for a seatbelt extender.
I want to be able to buy a pair of motorcycle chaps off-the-rack. Not that I WANT motorcycle chaps, understand, but I want to be able to.
I want to run the 400 meter (quarter mile) in less than 3 minutes.
I want to feel good about all of my food choices, knowing that they are getting me closer to my goals.
I want to go to England next year and not feel like everyone is looking at me as "that fat American lady."
I want to keep feeling better, and keep feeling like I'm actually making progress in my life instead of watching my life pass me by.
For me, there is no "Finish" to the program. I'm not planning to be "done" with this. I completely changed for it, in every way I could. I can't self-sabotage because that would mean completely changing everything in another direction, and it would take too much work for these habits to fall apart. One habit builds on and protects the others, so the entire set has to fall before I "fail". There's security and there's confidence in doing it this way. It's a sarcastic answer, maybe, but if you change everything it's too much effort to change it back.
Today is day 63--the last day of my 9th week. I wrote about struggling emotionally a week or so ago, but for the largest part it's been smooth sailing. I haven't really been having "cravings" per se. There's been no distinct point where my body/mind told me that if I had X food, then I would be better, IhavetohavethisfoodNOWdammit. What I have experienced is a consciousness that I was in a situation where, in the past, I would turn to food as a solution. And I've certainly had moments of thinking, "oh, these donuts smell good," or "the caffeine kick from a mocha would wake me up this morning," but there has been no desire to indulge myself. On the tail end of those thoughts has consistently been either an idle shrug because I really don't care, or a momentary pause and the thought, "but I want something else." And since I know very very well what that something else is, the 'craving' dissipates without ever gaining a foothold.
So what do I want?
I want to feel confident, sexy, and desirable. (Yeah, yeah, I know "it's all in your mind", "it's all in your attitude", whatever. This is my list.)
I want to not be scared, when I board a plane, that I will have to ask for a seatbelt extender.
I want to be able to buy a pair of motorcycle chaps off-the-rack. Not that I WANT motorcycle chaps, understand, but I want to be able to.
I want to run the 400 meter (quarter mile) in less than 3 minutes.
I want to feel good about all of my food choices, knowing that they are getting me closer to my goals.
I want to go to England next year and not feel like everyone is looking at me as "that fat American lady."
I want to keep feeling better, and keep feeling like I'm actually making progress in my life instead of watching my life pass me by.
For me, there is no "Finish" to the program. I'm not planning to be "done" with this. I completely changed for it, in every way I could. I can't self-sabotage because that would mean completely changing everything in another direction, and it would take too much work for these habits to fall apart. One habit builds on and protects the others, so the entire set has to fall before I "fail". There's security and there's confidence in doing it this way. It's a sarcastic answer, maybe, but if you change everything it's too much effort to change it back.
Are
you worried you won’t successfully finish the program, and it’s easier
to self-sabotage than fail? - See more at:
http://whole30.com/2013/08/revised-timeline/#sthash.uTEeCUhH.dpuf
Are
you worried you won’t successfully finish the program, and it’s easier
to self-sabotage than fail? - See more at:
http://whole30.com/2013/08/revised-timeline/#sthash.uTEeCUhH.dpuf
Are
you worried you won’t successfully finish the program, and it’s easier
to self-sabotage than fail? - See more at:
http://whole30.com/2013/08/revised-timeline/#sthash.uTEeCUhH.dpuf
Are
you worried you won’t successfully finish the program, and it’s easier
to self-sabotage than fail? - See more at:
http://whole30.com/2013/08/revised-timeline/#sthash.uTEeCUhH.dp"
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Precision point
Rather than becoming bored with my routine and settled in my habits and thus letting things slip a little, I am becoming more and more focused.
Part of what they talk about in the Whole30 program (today is day 61!) is what happens in week 3-4. Sometime in that week people tend to just stop caring about food. Food is off the radar as a coping strategy, food does not call to them from the pantry, food is not their first consideration. It's not at the forefront of the mind. That happened to me, and as I've progressed in this program it's become even less and less of a concern. I did my grocery shopping this morning. I picked up some chicken thighs, picked up a couple of beautiful filets, grabbed a couple of things for my husband, and raided the produce section. Nothing called to me. Nothing tempted me. Nothing required my examination. I just wasn't interested. And it wasn't any effort--I wasn't using newly minted brain tricks or refocusing techniques. I just didn't care.
I came home and made some bacon and eggs, cut up an apple and made my tea.I was happy. I was content. I wasn't looking for anything else. It's an amazing freedom, to not be ruled by food. I imagine this is what those who are naturally thin feel like. Food is nice, don't get me wrong. Food is yummy. Food makes me feel awake and energized. Food helps me fuel my WODs and makes my lifts stronger. But that's all it does. It doesn't help me with communicating with my husband. It doesn't help me deal with frustrations at work. It doesn't stand in as a companion for friends who are far away.
I'm so grateful that I've finally realized that. I've finally gotten to a place where I am open to those lessons and I can truly grasp what they mean. It took me years, but I'm finally here.
Part of what they talk about in the Whole30 program (today is day 61!) is what happens in week 3-4. Sometime in that week people tend to just stop caring about food. Food is off the radar as a coping strategy, food does not call to them from the pantry, food is not their first consideration. It's not at the forefront of the mind. That happened to me, and as I've progressed in this program it's become even less and less of a concern. I did my grocery shopping this morning. I picked up some chicken thighs, picked up a couple of beautiful filets, grabbed a couple of things for my husband, and raided the produce section. Nothing called to me. Nothing tempted me. Nothing required my examination. I just wasn't interested. And it wasn't any effort--I wasn't using newly minted brain tricks or refocusing techniques. I just didn't care.
I came home and made some bacon and eggs, cut up an apple and made my tea.I was happy. I was content. I wasn't looking for anything else. It's an amazing freedom, to not be ruled by food. I imagine this is what those who are naturally thin feel like. Food is nice, don't get me wrong. Food is yummy. Food makes me feel awake and energized. Food helps me fuel my WODs and makes my lifts stronger. But that's all it does. It doesn't help me with communicating with my husband. It doesn't help me deal with frustrations at work. It doesn't stand in as a companion for friends who are far away.
I'm so grateful that I've finally realized that. I've finally gotten to a place where I am open to those lessons and I can truly grasp what they mean. It took me years, but I'm finally here.
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
So what happens then?
I am intrigued by the question of, "what happens next?" that came to mind when I was reading Why We Get Fat. I have read extensively in the subject, and I can't remember ever seeing anything about nutrient partitioning as it relates to momentary food consumption.
There was an important part of the book that talked about how in the 1960s overeating and thus obesity became an issue of morality and personality, as opposed to the reality of living in a biological organism and having it respond to the world. Overeating was always a moral failing to me. It was always a question of personal responsibility, always an issue of my own flawed decisions. But if you take one step back, you realize that whatever body you inhabit still responds like a biological organism to stimuli. As much as you might want to, you can't control how quickly your heart beats. Try as you might, you can't will your food to digest faster. And just as similarly, you cannot control what your body does with food once you ingest it. The whole biological organism takes over, and your input is off the table.
So taking another step back, removing the question of morality and deadly sins from the picture, we are left with a question. We know calories are a measurement of heat, and a method of transferring energy from an edible substance to a body. Okay. We know that when we digest food, those calories are "absorbed" by the body. But once they are absorbed, where do they go? Yesterday I talked about nutrient partitioning and the ideal of "saver" and "spendthrift" bodies. We vaguely have the idea that some bodies store fat easier and some people eat as if they had a hollow leg, but what exactly is happening? What is causing some bodies to store half their calories? What mechanism makes other people able to eat a bowlful of ice cream every night and not see the effects? Thinner people have been shown, unarguably, to move more than heavier people. Fidgeting, walking, bigger body movements, more exercise, whatever. They move more because they have more energy in their cells and thus are able to move more, but WHY do they have more energy in their cells? What mechanism determines that their cells get the energy that has been transferred from food, instead of that energy being stored for future use?
This isn't easily answered by throwing out the word genetics. Genes are constantly being turned on and off in the body. And if it IS genetics, then what's going on? Is there a gene that determines that fat gets stored in cells last, as opposed to first? Can we switch that on? For people whose storage genes have been expressed, can we turn them off again?
What does it take to turn on the nutrient partitioning genes? How do we influence that? We know that ingestion of carbs influences the release of insulin, and the release of insulin helps store calories as fat. We're learning, through Crossfit and other more aggressive, more intense exercise styles, that with variable training demands comes different uses of the metabolic pathways. How do we couple those ideas together for people whose bodies want to store and rest? How do we quantify that so we know to what degree it's necessary to control those inputs?
That's what I want to know.
There was an important part of the book that talked about how in the 1960s overeating and thus obesity became an issue of morality and personality, as opposed to the reality of living in a biological organism and having it respond to the world. Overeating was always a moral failing to me. It was always a question of personal responsibility, always an issue of my own flawed decisions. But if you take one step back, you realize that whatever body you inhabit still responds like a biological organism to stimuli. As much as you might want to, you can't control how quickly your heart beats. Try as you might, you can't will your food to digest faster. And just as similarly, you cannot control what your body does with food once you ingest it. The whole biological organism takes over, and your input is off the table.
So taking another step back, removing the question of morality and deadly sins from the picture, we are left with a question. We know calories are a measurement of heat, and a method of transferring energy from an edible substance to a body. Okay. We know that when we digest food, those calories are "absorbed" by the body. But once they are absorbed, where do they go? Yesterday I talked about nutrient partitioning and the ideal of "saver" and "spendthrift" bodies. We vaguely have the idea that some bodies store fat easier and some people eat as if they had a hollow leg, but what exactly is happening? What is causing some bodies to store half their calories? What mechanism makes other people able to eat a bowlful of ice cream every night and not see the effects? Thinner people have been shown, unarguably, to move more than heavier people. Fidgeting, walking, bigger body movements, more exercise, whatever. They move more because they have more energy in their cells and thus are able to move more, but WHY do they have more energy in their cells? What mechanism determines that their cells get the energy that has been transferred from food, instead of that energy being stored for future use?
This isn't easily answered by throwing out the word genetics. Genes are constantly being turned on and off in the body. And if it IS genetics, then what's going on? Is there a gene that determines that fat gets stored in cells last, as opposed to first? Can we switch that on? For people whose storage genes have been expressed, can we turn them off again?
What does it take to turn on the nutrient partitioning genes? How do we influence that? We know that ingestion of carbs influences the release of insulin, and the release of insulin helps store calories as fat. We're learning, through Crossfit and other more aggressive, more intense exercise styles, that with variable training demands comes different uses of the metabolic pathways. How do we couple those ideas together for people whose bodies want to store and rest? How do we quantify that so we know to what degree it's necessary to control those inputs?
That's what I want to know.
Monday, December 8, 2014
Why do we get fat?
I'm reading Why We Get Fat by Gary Taubes. It's an easy read, science made accessible. It's informative and intelligent. It's well laid out...
And it is entirely validating of my own experience of my body.
The concept of weight loss and weight "management" is built around a principle of physics called the conservation of energy--simply, you can't make something from nothing, so the fat on your body had to come from somewhere. You had to eat it, since we don't absorb calories by osmosis. Either that or you're just not moving around enough to burn off what you eat. Both these things--eating too much or moving too little--are your own fault. They're a visible display of your own failure to manage your body. We accept this principle. We don't question personal responsibility when it comes to weight management.
The problem is, we never took the next step and asked what happens to the calories once they get into the body. We assumed--which is an oversight and makes us look stupid, honestly--that EVERY SINGLE BODY EVER uses calories in the exact same way, in the exact same proportions. If every body did, they it would clearly be a matter of personal fault and easy enough to correct. If you knew that 25% of your intake was going to be used for your brain, 25% would be used for muscles, 25% would be used for essential body functions, and the remaining 25% would be in circulation or fat storage until you ate again, it would be easy to tweak your intake so that you could dictate fat storage. The thing is, it doesn't work that way. That's the message we've all been sold over the last 40-ish years, but that oversimplifies the body and makes fools of us all.
So think about two women, Mary and Jane. Mary and Jane both earn $3,000 a month. Mary and Jane both own houses, and $1,000 a month goes toward their mortgages. This is their essential cost, the cost that must be paid. Mary, however, with her spendthrift ways, regularly spends money on nights out dancing, small weekend trips, books and videos, and new clothes and shoes. Other essential expenses like gas and car payments and insurance are paid, but Mary's primary expenditures are for entertainment. Sometimes there's a little bit left over at the end of the month, but never very much. She puts that away for a rainy day, but feels no qualms about dipping into that money when something new and exciting catches her eye.
Jane, on the other hand, worries about her money all the time. After she pays her mortgage and her essential expenses, she puts everything she can into a strict savings account across town that doesn't have easy access, so she has to go all the way across town to withdraw anything at all. Sometimes she needs new clothes or new shoes, and she plans carefully for these expenses. Her entertainment budget is zero: libraries are free, and they have movies, too. Jane's savings account is already substantial, and saving, for her, is reflexive now.
In the realm of the body, Mary is naturally thin. When she eats her body makes sure that her essential functions are supported, then spends the rest of her calories happily. Every single cell in Mary's body is open for business and eagerly changes those calories into energy. Mary doesn't really notice this because it's just the way she is, but she moves around more often, put more energy into her movements, and is warmer and more awake throughout the day. When she needs more energy for something she takes it right out of her fat stores--that's what it's there for, right?
Jane got the other end of the stick. Her body is heavier and slower. She has generous stores of fat, and yet this stored energy doesn't seem to translate to regular daily energy. She is slower with her movements, and tends to unconsciously shorten them or make them easier. Her hands and feet are always cold, and she always feels just a little bit sleepy. Jane's body likes to store calories for future use, even though she eats the same amount as Mary. Jane also drags herself on a morning walk with her dog every day, but her body is not thin. She burns the same amount of calories in a day at Mary, but her body is not thin like Mary's. Jane's body will make her "entertainment" budget as small as possible, and withdraw from her fat savings on a miserly basis.
This is called nutrient partitioning, and it's gotten little to no consideration in the realm of diet and exercise. Nutrient partitioning, easily, is how your body spends the calories you give it. Some peoples' bodies spend every calorie and save very little. Some peoples' bodies save before they pay any expenses. There has been little discussion of this. We're always told to "eat less and exercise more", as if we've never heard of math and can't understand the simple concepts of addition and subtraction. Being overweight is a failing of intellect, in addition to a failing of character.
And yet...I am not stupid and I am conscientious. But this is what I have consistently experienced in my own body. I have pages and pages of records over the years. I faithfully wrote down all my meals. I laboriously weighed and measured--to the gram--all my foods. I did the math over and over, trying desperately to figure out how many calories I needed and how many I could eat, how it was possible that I was eating X number of calories and exercising for Y minutes and walking at least 5 miles a day and being on my feet all day and still gaining weight. I played with my macronutrient ratios. I also listened to prevailing health and diet "experts", and failed to see the obvious: the higher my carbohydrate intake, the higher my weight and the wider the gap between what I knew I was consuming and the results I expected from the straight math.
Bodies are not simple machines, people. Calories aren't just calories. What your body does with those calories once you digest them is what matters. That's the principle of diet theory that everyone is missing. Everyone got hung up on the first step--you can't create something from nothing so you must be eating the calories you're storing--and missed the obvious second step: bodies are different, and they're not going to use the same number of calories in the same way.
The question becomes, then, what is happening once those calories are ingested? How do we affect how individual bodies use calories? How do we encourage "saver" bodies to spend freely?
And it is entirely validating of my own experience of my body.
The concept of weight loss and weight "management" is built around a principle of physics called the conservation of energy--simply, you can't make something from nothing, so the fat on your body had to come from somewhere. You had to eat it, since we don't absorb calories by osmosis. Either that or you're just not moving around enough to burn off what you eat. Both these things--eating too much or moving too little--are your own fault. They're a visible display of your own failure to manage your body. We accept this principle. We don't question personal responsibility when it comes to weight management.
The problem is, we never took the next step and asked what happens to the calories once they get into the body. We assumed--which is an oversight and makes us look stupid, honestly--that EVERY SINGLE BODY EVER uses calories in the exact same way, in the exact same proportions. If every body did, they it would clearly be a matter of personal fault and easy enough to correct. If you knew that 25% of your intake was going to be used for your brain, 25% would be used for muscles, 25% would be used for essential body functions, and the remaining 25% would be in circulation or fat storage until you ate again, it would be easy to tweak your intake so that you could dictate fat storage. The thing is, it doesn't work that way. That's the message we've all been sold over the last 40-ish years, but that oversimplifies the body and makes fools of us all.
So think about two women, Mary and Jane. Mary and Jane both earn $3,000 a month. Mary and Jane both own houses, and $1,000 a month goes toward their mortgages. This is their essential cost, the cost that must be paid. Mary, however, with her spendthrift ways, regularly spends money on nights out dancing, small weekend trips, books and videos, and new clothes and shoes. Other essential expenses like gas and car payments and insurance are paid, but Mary's primary expenditures are for entertainment. Sometimes there's a little bit left over at the end of the month, but never very much. She puts that away for a rainy day, but feels no qualms about dipping into that money when something new and exciting catches her eye.
Jane, on the other hand, worries about her money all the time. After she pays her mortgage and her essential expenses, she puts everything she can into a strict savings account across town that doesn't have easy access, so she has to go all the way across town to withdraw anything at all. Sometimes she needs new clothes or new shoes, and she plans carefully for these expenses. Her entertainment budget is zero: libraries are free, and they have movies, too. Jane's savings account is already substantial, and saving, for her, is reflexive now.
In the realm of the body, Mary is naturally thin. When she eats her body makes sure that her essential functions are supported, then spends the rest of her calories happily. Every single cell in Mary's body is open for business and eagerly changes those calories into energy. Mary doesn't really notice this because it's just the way she is, but she moves around more often, put more energy into her movements, and is warmer and more awake throughout the day. When she needs more energy for something she takes it right out of her fat stores--that's what it's there for, right?
Jane got the other end of the stick. Her body is heavier and slower. She has generous stores of fat, and yet this stored energy doesn't seem to translate to regular daily energy. She is slower with her movements, and tends to unconsciously shorten them or make them easier. Her hands and feet are always cold, and she always feels just a little bit sleepy. Jane's body likes to store calories for future use, even though she eats the same amount as Mary. Jane also drags herself on a morning walk with her dog every day, but her body is not thin. She burns the same amount of calories in a day at Mary, but her body is not thin like Mary's. Jane's body will make her "entertainment" budget as small as possible, and withdraw from her fat savings on a miserly basis.
This is called nutrient partitioning, and it's gotten little to no consideration in the realm of diet and exercise. Nutrient partitioning, easily, is how your body spends the calories you give it. Some peoples' bodies spend every calorie and save very little. Some peoples' bodies save before they pay any expenses. There has been little discussion of this. We're always told to "eat less and exercise more", as if we've never heard of math and can't understand the simple concepts of addition and subtraction. Being overweight is a failing of intellect, in addition to a failing of character.
And yet...I am not stupid and I am conscientious. But this is what I have consistently experienced in my own body. I have pages and pages of records over the years. I faithfully wrote down all my meals. I laboriously weighed and measured--to the gram--all my foods. I did the math over and over, trying desperately to figure out how many calories I needed and how many I could eat, how it was possible that I was eating X number of calories and exercising for Y minutes and walking at least 5 miles a day and being on my feet all day and still gaining weight. I played with my macronutrient ratios. I also listened to prevailing health and diet "experts", and failed to see the obvious: the higher my carbohydrate intake, the higher my weight and the wider the gap between what I knew I was consuming and the results I expected from the straight math.
Bodies are not simple machines, people. Calories aren't just calories. What your body does with those calories once you digest them is what matters. That's the principle of diet theory that everyone is missing. Everyone got hung up on the first step--you can't create something from nothing so you must be eating the calories you're storing--and missed the obvious second step: bodies are different, and they're not going to use the same number of calories in the same way.
The question becomes, then, what is happening once those calories are ingested? How do we affect how individual bodies use calories? How do we encourage "saver" bodies to spend freely?
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Onward, ho!
I have righted myself. It wasn't through any trick or any moment of clarity or any sudden realization. I just kept doing what I have been doing for the last 3.5 months, and held to my habits. The habits are the thing, I swear. I kept making my breakfast the night before so I'd have protein after morning WODs. I kept packing lunch the night before--sometimes using a chunk of free time to cook a couple of meals in advance--so I'd always have a good, safe lunch available. I automatically did my laundry and sorted it out into complete sets of gym clothes, so that when I woke up around 4:45 there was no desperate rushing to find necessary pieces. I just kept doing my new habits. I didn't let myself think about it too much. I didn't let myself think of alternatives. I just got on and did it.
And I Am on track. I am eating my veggies and my protein. I have repetitive meals, this is true, but honestly I just need protein and veggies. I don't need food to fulfill me. I don't need food to reward me. I don't need food to lend interest or satisfaction to my life. Food is necessary, yes, and there's no way I'm going to force myself to eat foods that I don't enjoy. But I'm not going to use food as anything else but fuel.
That's another phrase I never really understood. I knew what it meant on an intellectual level, even down to being able to explain about glucose and amino acids and essential fats and insulin and glycogen and leptin and mitochondria and all that gorgeous symphony that is the gastrointestinal tract. But intellect has never translated to a gut-level comprehension, to the ability to not ascribe other duties to what is, essentially, a way for the world to transfer energy to us.
Food is fuel, and that's all it is. I get it now.
And I Am on track. I am eating my veggies and my protein. I have repetitive meals, this is true, but honestly I just need protein and veggies. I don't need food to fulfill me. I don't need food to reward me. I don't need food to lend interest or satisfaction to my life. Food is necessary, yes, and there's no way I'm going to force myself to eat foods that I don't enjoy. But I'm not going to use food as anything else but fuel.
That's another phrase I never really understood. I knew what it meant on an intellectual level, even down to being able to explain about glucose and amino acids and essential fats and insulin and glycogen and leptin and mitochondria and all that gorgeous symphony that is the gastrointestinal tract. But intellect has never translated to a gut-level comprehension, to the ability to not ascribe other duties to what is, essentially, a way for the world to transfer energy to us.
Food is fuel, and that's all it is. I get it now.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)