I'm tired and worn today. As I was telling Tiffany last week, occasionally I'll get really frustrated with myself and my performance and imagine people are judging me. My inner voice starts screaming, "it's HARD to move this body! YOU try doing this weighing as much as me!" That's my reality right now. It's hard to move this body. It has to happen if I want to change, but occasionally I am overwhelmed by weariness.

We had a SWOD of front squat this morning followed by a Tabata WOD of pullups and planks. For the front squat we were doing 5 sets of 6, and the WOD was two "sets" of 4:20 each. Tiffany supports the idea of giving the 400m run a try if I get there early, so I got out of my car and tried it. I made it about halfway, I think. I'm still not sure which fire hydrant is our marker. But I did it. It was dark and I was alone, and I liked it best that way. Self-consciousness is my Achilles heel. This morning I woke up at 2:30 and had been drifting and dozing since, so I was already starting with just 4 hours of sleep. Coming off 9 days of vacation, my mind was not focused and my body was not awake. I did part of the 400m run and came back. Stef showed up a couple of minutes later and I had a few minutes to stretch.

Going into the SWOD, I still wasn't awake. I worked with the bar and added weight for two rounds, but that was all I had. I stripped the bar for the last 3 sets, disappointed in myself but not willing to risk my physical safety with the combination of a tired brain and body and a heavy weight. No PRs were set this morning.

Tabata sounds easy. It's 4:20, how hard could it be? The reality of Tabata, though, is far more harsh. 20 seconds of intense effort followed by 10 seconds of rest, repeated 9 times, is a hard task to accomplish. Pullups are beyond me right now--they're on my list as a One-Year goal--so I did jumping pullups. Eeesh.

Down to the floor for the same 20/10 of planks. The floor tempted me to just curl up and go back to sleep. I could feel endorphins rushing, I knew I was in a good mood, but the physical reality of just being bodily tired was still with me. When time was called I rolled to my back and panted. Tired. Just tired.

Dragging through work this morning, and I have another 4 hours to go. Tired. Just tired. Sleep will come easy tonight.